Boundaries keep me out of resentment

As I go through, another read of Brene Brown's Gifts of Imperfection, each time I read it, something new hits me like a ton of bricks.

Today it was the concept that boundaries keep a person out of resentment, and hence leaves room to cultivate compassion.

Why? Because agreeing to do something out of obligation, and not because you really want to is inauthentic to yourself. You're doing it because on a subconscious level, you want to people-please, not offend, get them to like you, get them on your side, not cause drama etc etc.

Anything that feels inauthentic to you, feels draining. That's how you know its inauthentic. And anything that that drains you, will eventually completely empty you of your energy and vitality. Hence being inauthentic to yourself can never be sustainable.

Imagine your personal energy to be water in a cup. The more inauthentic practices you act on, or requests you follow, the more water drains from the cup. You'll have less to give others, you'll start feeling depleted yourself and you'll need to fill up your cup asap.

And just so you know, the water in the cup represents your energy and energy can be revitalised by self-compassion and self-love.

Ultimately, though, the energy needs to be stabilised (imagine the in-flow of water into the cup needs to be slow and steady and balance the slow-steady out-flow of water)

So how do you steady and slow the out flow of water from the cup? Through boundaries that are clear, consistent and serve to uphold your self-worth.

Boundaries that are steeped in self-worth and protection of your own energy.

Boundaries that serve to maintain peace and a steady pace.

Boundaries in the face of disappointing others, knowing that it's actually selfish of them to overimpose on you.

Boundaries that serve to keep energy flowing at a high frequency.

Boundaries set with the confidence that those that love you will honour your boundaries, and adjust to a new set of rules you have set.

If you don't set clear boundaries to protect your energy and vibration, you will resent the other person from emptying your cup. And they might not even mean to! They may not know you're doing it.