Risks are fun, failure is fun

Tackling Limiting Belief #1 - I struggle to put myself out there

Why I've outgrown the belief

I'm on maternity leave at the moment, which has created a pause from the daily grind of working at a job. And honestly, I don't miss my job. It's a pretty great job that I've worked hard at for a decade. It pays well, and the people are nice.

It's not even really about my current job specifically. I've changed jobs and careers plenty of times and while I've felt like I'm getting closer and closer to feeling better in each role, I still get an empty feeling at the end of the day.

I'm starting to realise it's me. I constantly search for validation, approval and the feeling of legitimacy in my job based on what others will recognise and accept as a 'real job'.

My criteria for what a 'real job' is based on notions of responsibility, role titles, stable income, social recognition of status.

And what's missing is the joy of getting up on Mondays. The adventure of creative expression. The connectivity to a greater purpose beyond myself. The adventure of taking risks to explore myself despite what other people may think.

And for me specifically 'other people' may come in the form of peers, bosses etc but ultimately I can trace the belief back to me seeking approval and love through my profession from my parents. The notion of "Am I making you proud? Do you see me? Do you recognise me?"

Anyway, point is that I'm sick of this feeling. And sick of my own patterns and cycle of self-sabotage. I consistently swing between trying really hard at a role, and then half-arsing it because I feel so disconnected to the role. What I'm really searching for is a deeper connection with myself. And what I need for that is the belief that I am able to put myself out there.

"I struggle to put myself out there"

'I struggle to put myself out there' is a belief I tell myself when I hold myself back from pursuing my dreams. Similar to, "I'm shy" etc but really, it's a belief that simply covers the fact that I'm in constant fear that I wont get the validation or approval that my self-worth has been built on.

Yikes. That hits home, as I'm typing this.

Why it's not true

I put myself out there all the time! In areas that I feel comfortable in, I'm constantly putting myself out there with ease and effort. There's no big drama in my mind about it at all!

Examples include:

• Romantic relationships: I wear my heart on my sleeve and express how I feel shamelessly, freely and authentically.

• New social situations: I invite others over and connect with people daily.

• New gyms and sports: I've always been able to easily join new gyms, circuit training, new sports or dance classes I've never tried before. (It's easy because i do it for fun, rather than any other expectation that I need to be good at it, or achieve an external goal)

• Switching jobs - even switching jobs is an example of me consistently improving a situation when it doesn't fit me.

My new mantra

I consistently put myself out there, and I'm a risk taker.

Risks are fun and adventurous, even when I don't get the outcome I want.

I let go of the attachment to the outcome. (this is the hardest mantra for me)

My concrete actions

• starting this blog

• getting more involved and engaged with property

My aspirations

• Making money on my own terms (having my own income stream through my actions and energy. Having my own autonomy over my actions and my time)

• Not going back to a '9-to-5' job

• Not being a full-time stay-at-home mum (I personally need something else)

• Be bold in saying what I think and being who I am